I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize