break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
