Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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