Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
