She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
pop tarts are not kleenex
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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