is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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