And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
