I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So vagazzling was a success
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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