i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
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How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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