New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
