Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
