return my video game
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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