I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
