the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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