you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
