Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
