dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my shit smells like andre
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize