3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
