she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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