She's JV to your varsity
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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