okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dear god my vagina.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
