he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
