You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
