Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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