We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
