we have officially lost it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
