Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
