I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
A+ Viking dick
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
