I heard we made out
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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