i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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