When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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