i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
