i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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