Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
