The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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