So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
