"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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