So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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