..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just puked most of my soul out..
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