so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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