im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
