My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
