There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was CRYING into my vagina
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
