No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
