Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I enjoy the company of your penis
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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