Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize