Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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