Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
