One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
