I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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