It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
