my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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