Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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