how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
