Your face is a jimmy john
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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