what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
