Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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