Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
