And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
