I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
