my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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