I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
