yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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