I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize