that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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