My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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